I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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