Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I can't turn off my feet"
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
