Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
