Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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