I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
