he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
