I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
