i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
