You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
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She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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