That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
