Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
