Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
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I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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