She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I have post one night stand depression
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
