How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
