Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
