Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
