Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
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