He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
