when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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