I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
