Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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