I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize
