it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
His hands were made for my vagina.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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