You just made me feel so damn special
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
