If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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