Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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