Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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