i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
