I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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