He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
be right there i have to get my cape
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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