yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
