The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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