Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize