this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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