i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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