I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
