Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
