I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
