i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
