Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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