Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
