You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
