just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
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I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
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Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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