It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
