I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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