Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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