were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
