it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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