Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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