Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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