so that wasnt chicken after all
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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