Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
