ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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