did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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