he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Liz is crying about burritos again.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
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