Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
