Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
