What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles