I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
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