So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.