I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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