i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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