i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.