Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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