i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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