At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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