Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
