i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
