using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
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