one might say we're banned from that church
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
