btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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