Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
i think my cat just said my name.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
