; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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