I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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