im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
